"Gently, I find my way back to my inner balance, nourished by my own inexhaustible source of peace and patience."
mantra from the guided meditation at Lereia's former Eldath monastery
Fourth Lady's Day of Savorus, 126 HR
After they had found the Keeper in the Limbo Bar, Lereia withdrew from the others in the late afternoon. She walked around the Clerk's Ward for a while and then finally sat down at a high round table in a sidewalk café. She ordered lavender honey ice cream and a double portion of thin cinnamon-flavored chocolate bars. The waiter was momentarily taken aback by the large portion she ordered, but Lereia just smiled politely. She was used to such reactions to the quantities she could eat. Her appearance often contrasted with this, as she was rather petite and never gained significant weight. On the contrary, as a child, Helen had often told her that she was too thin and even today she made sure that she ate enough. Especially when she transformed frequently. Her basal metabolic rate was very high anyway due to her strong metabolism, and a transformation cost additional energy. Especially since she had to admit that she was quickly irritable when she was hungry. She accepted the ice cream gratefully, because in her human form she enjoyed indulging in her passion for sweets all the more.
Lereia poked around in her bowl while watching the hustle and bustle on the street. A gnome flower seller sold a beautiful bouquet of different colored freesias to a young human man, who then handed them over to a half-elven woman, who hugged him exuberantly, beaming with joy. Lereia smiled to herself, she loved to observe the inhabitants of Sigil in such moments. She couldn't deny that the city still frightened and intimidated her sometimes, but it also held a power and vibrancy that fascinated Lereia. The monastic life of her childhood and youth meant a lot to her; it had probably been the best, or perhaps even the only possible, way to get her curse under control. The subsequent life in the grove on Terra Equilibrium had also filled her with happiness. Being close to nature and the wild, together with allies and friends. She had learned a lot about herself there. But now, here in this city, many things were new to her and, on the one hand, it felt big and difficult. But she had never been able to experience moments like the ones she was experiencing now, sitting alone in a café, strolling through the Great Bazaar or treating herself to a massage in the Great Gymnasium. And since Sigil offered her the opportunity to travel to all planes of the multiverse at any time, she didn't feel trapped in this city either. She knew that the wilderness was often just a walk away and if the Cage became too restless or too oppressive for her, she would take to her heels, would go to the Beastlands for example and spend a day or two there. In her tiger form, to hunt, but also to meditate in the seclusion of nature and to bring peace to her mind. Of course, the house that Ambar had generously provided for her was also a reason why she felt more and more at home here. It was a counterbalance to her monastic past, which she had left behind to see more of the world and even the planes. Sigil was probably the perfect starting point for that. She was curious and adventurous, but a safe haven was important and necessary for Lereia.
She bit into a wafer-thin chocolate bar as Sgillin's words came to her mind that he had spoken in the garden of the Festhall earlier: “I want to fulfill our purpose here and then never set foot in this city again.” She thought about this a lot, because she wasn't sure whether she shared this attitude. Unlike Sgillin, Lereia had deliberately joined a faction. A faction she already felt very close to and whose factol she was unreservedly loyal to. This was not something she would discard after a few months or years. And as Erin had said, the Anarchists posed a threat to most of them. This gnawed at her, because lately she had noticed more and more things that she and Sgillin didn't have in common, and it felt like they were moving further and further apart, at least from her point of view. It had been easier in the grove, where they had lived in a kind of bubble. When enemies had threatened the island, they had faced them together, there had been a clear front. But here, on their missions in the planes, their actions and thoughts repeatedly showed clear differences. She had to admit that the physical attraction between them was strong and Sgillin still meant a lot to her. When Sarin had confronted him so harshly earlier that day, she had been afraid of what might happen next. But even that fear was something that made her uncertain about their shared future. There was another point that actually concerned her even more than their differences in attitude and character. And it weighed even more heavily on Lereia than his lies. For some time now, she was sure that she wanted nothing more for her future than to raise a family someday. Of course, she was young and still had a few years to do so, and she would take that time. But the question was whether she could be with a man for whom that was either out of the question or whose circumstances would not allow it. And with Sgillin and his current lifestyle and the things she had learned about him recently, she felt neither the necessary safety nor stability. It was always possible that he could come into conflict with the law and that a scene like today's could repeat itself or that he could even end in prison. Or he would get into even more trouble with the dealings he had been pursuing - or perhaps still was. He had kept so much from her and now she had the feeling that these things were standing between them like a wall and she wasn't sure if she could still overcome that wall.
Thoughtfully, she ate the last spoonfuls of her ice cream. In the recent past, she had withdrawn from him and they had hardly spent any time alone together. Lereia hadn't been clear about where they actually stood. But she now realized that she would soon have to make a decision; anything else would be unfair to him. With these last serious thoughts, she paid for the ice cream and made her way to her house in the Lower Ward. She wanted to freshen up and change, as she had an appointment with Morânia in the Eyes of Elysium that evening. The two women wanted to have dinner together and maybe a cocktail. She was looking forward to getting to know the bal'aasi better, maybe she would find a friend in her with whom she could share such thoughts. Thoughts that also concerned the Prophecy and about which she could only exchange ideas with a limited group of people. And she didn't really regard the only other woman in the group, Jana, as a potential conversation partner after the incident in the garden of the Festhall ...
----------------------
This chapter was written by Lereia's player.
Comments
Post a Comment